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 Scourge2's Asylum!'s 10 Most Wanted

Since I began my Asylum!, I have always had new ideas I've wanted to try out, as what began as a means to work myself through a personal tragedy started to develop into much more.  I've even asked a fellow net-surfer to let me add something she had written to my web site.  I had gotten early positive responses to it and, therefore, decided to give her her own "room".  I even have my brother locked in the basement here!  There was another person I had wanted to invite to my Asylum!, but I don't know how that will pan out.  (I'm keeping my fingers crossed!)  

There are, though, some special 'imaginary' people who I would like to invite, but being as they are not real people, there may be a small problem with trying to get them here.  If I could, I would invite them,  as these would be my...


1) D-FENS:  If you have seen the movie "Falling Down" starring Michael Douglas, then you would know the man only known by his vanity license plate (unless his actual character name was mentioned - I need to check that out) was a very unassuming man who seemed quite normal at first, until you made him mad.  Stress over losing his job and not being allowed to see his daughter on her birthday was enough to put him over the edge.  The events that happened as he was trying to see his daughter only made things worse... for the people around him, at least.  D-fens reminds me a lot of myself.  I lost my job due to unfair and questionable circumstances and I have had to deal with family strife at times.  Not too many married men haven't had to deal with the latter.  He manages to keep his daughter first and foremost in his mind (as do I, and I have three).  Having him here would be a real treat for me as we could probably learn from each other.  Sometimes I feel as if we are already kindred spirits.  So, why not extend an invitation to him?

2) TWO FACE:  The man otherwise known as Harvey Dent got his start as Gotham City's D.A.  He was Gotham City's best good guy without a costume until a mobster testifying in court attacked Dent and splashed acid in his face, completely disfiguring one side.  The subsequent botched facial surgery and the mental trauma brought on by the entire event turned Gotham's No. 1 civilian crime fighter into one of Batman's worst enemies.  Two Face believes it was simple fate that caused his terror to befall him, so he uses a two-headed coin (scarred on one side, he was holding it when the mobster doused his face with acid) to decide his actions as well as his fate, and the fate of those who happen to cross his path.  Neither caring nor vicious, he is completely apathetic as he feels he is merely doing what the coin decides he must do.  This kind of apathy is no stranger to me and I would have no qualms extending an invitation to Dent... er, Two Face.  The chance to see both sides of a person's soul in such a blatant and uncaring light is too good a chance to pass up.  Now why would I invite him over, say, The Joker?  Well, both are definitely nuts, but The Joker is TOO crazy and always seems to find a way of escaping the confines of Arkham.  Since I don't have a security staff (yet), I'd rather take my chances with Two Face.

3) HANNIBAL LECTER :  With a nickname like 'Hannibal the cannibal', does this one really need an explanation?  He has no problem telling you his sensitive nose has found out you have smelly body parts.  He even helps the police solve baffling crimes.  He's so feared by everyone that before he is transported outside, he's straightjacketed, strapped to a furniture dolly-type device, and completely encased in a small cage with only room enough for him!  He's my kind of guy!  Of course, I'd have to keep an extra eye on him (thankfully other staffers will be handling his meals), but I think I can spare an invitation with his name on it.

4) PEYTON FLANDERS:  Sounds familiar?  If you saw the 1992 thriller "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle", it should.  She was the original au pair from hell.  Now this woman knows how to plan revenge, doesn't she?  A woman sues Flanders' husband, an OBGYN, for sexual misconduct, causing other women to file their own charges against the doctor.  Not only does the doctor lose his practice, he kills himself, and the subsequent stress causes the then-pregnant Flanders to lose her baby.  The woman who filed the initial charge places an ad in the newspaper for a live-in nanny, which Flanders accepts, and begins her revenge actions, including seducing the woman's husband, causing the baby not to accept her nursing attempts, and trying to kill her.  Cold, cruel, calculating, and heartless in her revenge, it adds a new dimension to the 'woman scorned' saying.  I could never turn down this opportunity to have her here.

5) RONALD MCDONALD:  Or any clown, for that matter - Krusty, Bozo,... I don't care.  I just want to know what would make a normally 'sane' person dress up like a clown and do stupid silly stuff.  I don't understand it.  I just don't understand it.  It seems to me that clowns deserve to be in asylums more so than the residents that are already there!  Call it a bad case of coulrophobia, but think about it:  Can you REALLY trust a clown?  No, I don't mean Bill Clinton, but did you know that one of the most notorious serial killers in history once worked as a clown at children's birthday parties?  (Can you say "John Wayne Gacy", boys and girls?)  And now that we're on the subject, what about mimes?  I say anyone who spends hours each day pretending to be trapped inside a box should be locked inside a real one!  I'm sure I can spare a room.

6) NORMAN BATES:  In my opinion, this is the character that started it all.  Well, maybe he wasn't the first madman in a movie, but he was definitely the best.  Having him as a resident would legitimize having the other nine.  My only problem with him is that he's a bit too fixated on his mother, but he does have an eye for the ladies and he's a property owner.  (That doesn't hurt.)  Maybe I could get some tips from him about expansion for my Asylum!

7) ANNIE WILKES:  An obsessed fan has her dream come true - she manages to meet the object of her obsession, a novelist, by rescuing him after being in an automobile accident, and once she's met him, she never lets him go, not without a fight.  She gave a new meaning to the word "Misery".  The novelist makes a very crucial mistake by killing off Annie's favorite character, eventually causing her to lose touch with reality.  The novelist also finds out Annie's quite good with a sledgehammer after a failed escape attempt.  It's for this reason that I want her here in my Asylum!  With a swing like that, I could use her to help knock down a few walls when I need to renovate my Asylum! and add a few rooms.  She'd work for free, but I DEFINITELY wouldn't argue with her!

8) JACK TORRANCE:  While Annie is working hard to knock down a few walls, I figure she could use a bit of help.  This is where Jack Torrance really 'shines'.  He could take over with his ax as Annie is taking a breather.  He's an eager worker who doesn't mind working in the cold (even in snowy conditions).  All I'd have to do is whisper a few words to him and it's 'Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!'.  He does seem to be more motivated when his family's around, so I'll have to make sure he has family pictures in his cell and maybe a family visit just before work.  With Jack and Annie around, I can keep my renovation expenses low while they work to earn their keep, and they'd both make very interesting subjects to study.

9) THE RIDDLER:  One of my favorite things to do is to work puzzles in my free time (when I have any, that is).  I'd go to the local bookstore, buy one of a number of puzzle books and be completely at peace while I wracked my brain trying to solve them.  This is where The Riddler would come in handy; he could come up with a new game or puzzle in no time.  They are his specialty (as Batman has found out more than once), and why not?  Why would one expect with a name like Richard E. Nygma belying his alias?  His puzzles can hide hidden dangers within them, so I'd have to keep a close eye out for them, but he'd be welcome here in my Asylum! anytime!

10) CUJO:  Even more than I love puzzles, I really love dogs!  Big dogs!  And with Cujo being a Saint Bernard, they don't come much bigger!  The only problem with this particular dog is that he may be rabid.  I'm not sure, but I'm told he is.  I'm not sure how the other residents will react to having a rabid dog on the grounds, but seeing as how I don't have an active security staff here yet, I can't be too picky.  It would be nice to have a pet around here (one besides that damned cat that's already here), and if he actually is rabid... well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!  Anyone up for a game of 'Fetch'?

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